Romance in the Wrong
by lady patronus
Summary: DISCONTINUED and I left you on a horrible cliffhanger siriuslily with james trying to win her back...
1. Sirius

**once again, I'm writing something totally different from I've already started... but, hey... I felt like writing something different and I wanted to know you're opinions... probably be a surprise ending... it might not look like what it seems *wink wink***

Lily tore out of the Great Hall and out the front doors of the castle. Just when she though she had seen the real side of James Brandon Potter, he had turned on her again. The ran towards the lake and to The Tree. This was her place. The great willow treat at the edge of the lake, the leaves hanging down so that nobody could see into it clearly, but she could see out. There was a small gap in the curtain of leaves that ended where the lake started, and it looked over the lake. On a warm summer dusk, it made a lovely view; the sun setting over the lake, the sky overhead, and the castle off the far right, but visible so that it made it seem like a sturdy, stone soldier, it was reassuring. She threw herself at the mercy of the solid tree trunk and slid down crying. How many times had she fallen into his pull only to be pushed away again. She pulled her robes around her more tightly. She cried herself into a daze.

Humming. There was an odd humming noise in the air. Lily looked up, her eyes puffy and her cheeks stained with tear of betrayal. She saw the sleek, black motorcycle descend and land right in front of the curtain of leaves. She held her breath and prayed that he wouldn't come in. 

Sirius Black, resident 'bad boy', best friend to James Potter; the cocky jerk who strutted around like he owned the school. Though he along with James, Remus Lupin, and the tag along, Peter Petigrew were 'the' to die for, most sought after boys in the school, minus Peter, they had their reputations. 'The Marauders', as they liked to call themselves, were the popular people, the in crowd, the one that could mean being instant popularity or instant… not. 

The motorcycle sat there, the engine running. She could see through the leaves that he was staring straight at her. She wiped her tears and put herself straight as best as she could before pulling back the curtain of leaves.

"What do you want?"

His eyes drank her in; hair soft red waves and startling, vivid, bright green eyes. He couldn't get enough of her eyes. He shrugged off his guilt to his best mate, James. He revved the engine.

"Hop on," nodding his head behind him.

Lily stared at him. "You're joking."

"Just get on Lily."

She mentally slapped herself for starting to look him over. His hair was wind blown, as well as his attire. He had on muggle clothes, ratty old jeans and a plain white t-shirt; simple, and yet…she bit her lip. She fought to keep her eyes from flicking up and down.

Reluctantly she stepped closer and on.

"Hold on," he revved the engine, there was a triumphant edge to his voice. Lily had the urge to get off, she wasn't liking where this was going. But before she could, the motorcycle shot off and up. She had the feeling of leaving all her worries and troubles on the ground. She held tighter on to Sirius, pushing back the rising of emotions, and leaned into him. 

__

Screw James, let this teach him a lesson.

And she threw her head back and let out a loud whoop.

***

still going through revisions...

Let me know what you think!

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!


	2. Reality

Lily's eyes were bright with joy, her cheeks flushed red by the wind, and clothes wrinkled from being pressed up against Sirius as the touched back down on Hogwarts ground again. They lunged forward slightly as the motorcycle came to a halt. Lily hugged Sirius' back.

"Thanks Sirius," she said quietly. She stepped off delicately.

"Hey, any time Lils."

__

Lils. Reality slammed into her at full force again. She felt like she had been tackled by a dragon. She didn't know why she suddenly felt guilty. Everybody called her by that name. But the way James said it…

__

Cocky Son of a Bitch! she thought savagely, forcing herself to hate James.

"You know Lils, if you ever need to talk, I'm always here… or if you ever just feel like going for a ride…" his eyes hid back their hopefulness. He maintained his cool attitude, typical.

__

Jealously. James would be stark raving jealous. But what about his friendship with James? Why did he risk it taking me out for a ride?

She heard herself saying, "I'd like that," She flashed him a smile, and started to walk away.

"Why'd you do it?" she suddenly turned around, she couldn't help herself.

Sirius gave her a blank stare.

"Why'd you comfort me, take me on a ride?"

"'Cause you're my best friend's girl. He really loves you, you know, he's just too stupid to realize it." 

Lily felt a pang of guilt, she wanted him to like her so much. She practically wilted when she found out he did it because she was James' girlfriend, not because he felt something for her. She should have known better. Even though Sirius was cocky and stuck up most of the time, he was as loyal as his name sake, Sirius, the dog star. He was the kind of guy that would never do that to his best friend. That's what attracted Lily to him, his honesty, his loyalty… he was the kind of guy Lily wanted in a boyfriend.

"Oh," she replied softly. She turned, back to the castle. She felt lost, she felt déjà vu. This was just the way she felt when she had run to her Tree for safety. 

And her longing for him to notice her turned to anger, he was just like James. No wonder they were best friends.

"Oh," she said more forcefully. "Thanks Sirius. I'll see you later," She didn't bother to hide the spite in her voice. She hurried off, not looking back. 

_______________

this piece started off as just a writing for fun...  
but now i want you're opinion on it!  
if enough people like it, then I'll write more!  
SO REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!  
  
  
  
-patronus 


	3. Déjà vu

James stormed into the room and straight up to me.

"Where you with Sirius the other day?" he demanded.

"Yeah… why?" 

He looked at me, shocked, "How can you be so cool about it!" he raged.

"Why are you so upset? You're always hanging around my friends when I'm not there, so why can't I hang around Sirius!"

"Because it's unnatural!" 

'define natural James…' I thought.

"Why are you so upset I did something 'unnatural'! It's not like you don't do anything of the sort."

James fumed. "SIRIUS! GET YOU'RE FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Sirius sauntered down the stairs of the boys dormitory and up to them. "What's up mate?" he said, he no clue what was going on.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND THE OTHER DAY?!?!"

Sirius looked shocked. "Nothing, I just took her around on my bike."

"And since when were you so concerned, James Brandon Potter." she said in a low voice, barely audible. "You're over there in the corner with Katy Rakins last time I looked. You seemed much more concerned on where she was touching you to notice me at all," she said to the ground, looking at her feet. 

James was speechless for a second. 

"I wasn't even touching her!"

Lily sprang up and slapped him. He held a shocked look on his face as he clutched his face. "Ow!"

"Liar… you were always a bad liar and I saw you. To think I even bothered to look at you- TO THINK! I EVEN BOTHERED TO LET YOU TOUCH ME AT ALL! YOU!" she screeched, pointing a finger at him, "ARE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU'RE FACE AGAIN!" She screeched and stormed out of the common room. James looked around, every one was staring. Famous James Potter just got dumped by his girlfriend. 

He fumed, clutching his hands into fists. He saw Katy out of the corner of his eye, slinking toward him. He looked straight at her.

"You wanna go to the Astronomy Tower with me tonight Katy?" Katy clearly had the biggest bust in the school, she had a reputation.

"James, don't be stupid," muttered Sirius beside him.

She walked over and batted her eyelashes, tracing the curve of his face with a long slender finger. She made a long scene of adjusting herself in front of him. Tugging her skirt, flicking her hair, straightening her shirt; and all through the whole thing he only stared at one spot that was way too low to be her head. 

"Sure James," she finally said in a low seductive voice and she took his hand, leading him out of the common room. Just as he was out of sight, he saluted to Sirius and disappeared. 

__

God James, Why do you have to be so blind? Sirius thought to himself, and went back up the stairs to his dormitory's to grab his wand.

***

Déjà vu. How many time's can you have the _exact_ same feeling in one day, from the _exact_ same person?

She was running out of the castle again and to her Tree. Her safe place, her refuge. She flung off her cloak and was standing there in her pj's. She let the cool air wash over her, and then she stepped into the lake, still hidden behind a veil of leaves. Her pj bottoms were wet, but right now, she wasn't in a very caring mood. She walked out far so the water was up to her hips. She shivered from the cold. She saw the great silver rock, illuminated by the moon, near the center of the lake. She nodded her head and dived in.

***

Sirius was running past dark trees, the only light coming from his wand. He raced to his bike, and hopped on. He tapped it with his wand, and the engine burst to life, ripping apart the silence. He took off into the air, passing the canopy of the tree's and out into the open air. 

Exhilaration.

Freedom.

No worries.

This was what he lived for. 

He slammed on the gas and shot off toward the lake. 

From high above he could see a figure in the lake. It was steadily making it's way toward the center of the lake toward a big rock. And the moonlight stuck her hair in such a way, and he realized it was Lily.

He suddenly had a horrible thought. Was she trying to kill herself?

***

Lily reached the rock and climbed on. She heard it again. The rumble of an engine, a slight humming noise. She looked up. Déjà vu. 

__

I swear, if I have déjà vu one more time tonight… 

The black motorcycle came down and floated by the rock, engine rumbling again.

"Lily what are you doing!" Sirius demanded.

"What do you want Sirius?"

"What do I- come on now Lily. What were you thinking! It's 1am!"

"I- I felt like going for a swim," she said.

"Going for a swim my ass! Get on!"

"Sirius you can't order me around all the time!"

"Lily, no seriously, get on."

"DÉJÀ VU!" she screamed, but got on anyways. Being wet and speeding through the night air, Lily grew cold.

"Lily, take my cloak,"

"I'm okay," she managed to say through chattering teeth.

"Why are you always resisting, untie my cloak and put it on yourself." She complied.

"Won't you be cold?" she said, relishing the warmth she had stolen from him.

"I'll be okay,"

"Like hell you will," She wrapped herself around him and pulled the cloak over him as well. 

***

They had been flying for ½ an hour in a comfortable silence. Lily's eyes were dropping as she rested her head on his back. She felt content.

"Lily?" Sirius asked in a soft voice.

"Yeah?" she said, sleepily. 

"What were you doing out in the middle of the lake?"

"Nothing… water always calms me, so I figured if I was surrounded by it I would be able to escape for a minute and just think…" her voice trailed off.

"Are you cold?"

"No," she whispered, she snuggled deeper into his back.

"Hey! You can't fall asleep back there, you might fall off," he admonished softly. Lily shifted her head, " well I'm going to," she said, her voice airy. Sirius lead the bike to a halt in mid air.

"Get in front of me," 

"Why," she asked, sleepily.

"So if you fall asleep you won't fall off, I'll be able to hold you if you start slipping,"

"Okay,"

Sirius slipped his arms around her and pulled her in front of him. He took off the cloak and put it on him, wrapping it around her as well. She leaned back into him and sighed.

"Thanks Sirius," she whispered.

Sirius listened to her breathing as he drove on, soft and light. He looked down at her for a minute and into her gentle face, her slender neck. Maybe James really was blind. The only parts he could see from a girl were her breasts down. Sirius shifted her slightly in his arms, her head rested on his shoulder. She was so beautiful. 

He knew exactly where to take her.


	4. The Concept

**strangely, Sirius went from resident bad boy to sweet, romantic Sirius... okay, so he can be both, he's bad boy around James and sensitive around Lily, but only romantic around Lily! get it?**  
  
  
Lily woke to a warm content feeling. She shifted slightly, relishing the warmth. She felt the thing beneath her stirring.   
  
"Sirius?" she yawned.  
  
"Yea, Lils?"   
  
"Where are we? What time is it?" She opened her eyes and gasped.  
  
It was the most breath taking view. She was on a beach, and the sun was rising in front of them. The surf played against the sand, a comforting crashing noise. She lay against Sirius' chest who was propped up on his bike, and his cloak was flung over them.  
  
"Morning Lily," he whispered, tightening his grip on her and leaning his face against hers from behind.   
  
"Oh, Sirius! It's beautiful!" she cooed.  
  
"Not as beautiful as you," She blushed and turned around to meet his eyes. His eyes were a soft brown, and his hair was hanging around his face. He had the most beautiful eyes, one's you could get lost in. Sirius took her chin in his hands and brought his face closer to hers.  
  
There lips touched. It was a gentle kiss, loving. Lily wanted to melt into him, wishing this moment would last forever. Sirius pulled away and looked into her eyes, he kissed her forehead. Then he leaned her back against him and sighed.  
  
They stayed quiet for a couple of minutes.  
  
"We have to get back,"  
  
"No," Lily protested, "Just a few more minutes."   
Sirius chuckled.   
  
"There going to be wondering where we are,"   
  
"No," she murmured, " don't think about it right now, just a few more minutes."  
  
"Okay," he kissed her cheek.  
  
***  
  
Lily leaned against him, she sighed, she never wanted this to end. Sirius was nothing like James was. Sirius was sweet and romantic and caring. James just held her hand one day, like a trophy, and then was seen with Katy the next.   
  
Hogwarts came into view, she watched as it became bigger and they flew past it.  
  
"We're about to go through the canopy," he said, he maneuvered over the canopy and down into it, the branches tickling her. They would have scratched her if Sirius had not been holding on to her. She marveled at the fact that she had none, while Sirius was less fortunate. Couple of scratches here and there, but nothing was bleeding.  
  
They landed softly and Sirius opened up his arms and let her off. He hopped off behind her and pocketed his wand. He touched her hand and lifted it up, kissing it before intertwining his fingers into hers. They walked through the trees, sun was starting to seep through the canopy, and out into the open. The grounds were quiet. They walked in silence as they reached the door. He opened it for her and let her pass first. She held her breath as they entered the Great Hall.  
  
***  
James was staring at Katy across the table from him, and as usual, his gaze wondered too low from her face. There was only 2 more minutes of breakfast left before the doors from the entrance hall opened. He didn't bother to look up.  
  
But he did when an odd silence came over the hall. He saw Sirius and Lily walking side by side, passing through the Ravenclaw table and the Gryffindor table. It was only when they sat down, a ways down the table, and their hands moved up did he see that they were clasped together. They didn't even notice him.  
  
He stood up. Ignoring the chattering away Katy.   
  
"James? Hey James! I'm talking here!" she said irritably and a little louder than necessary.  
  
"Stuff it Katy," and he walked down the table. He pulled her hand out of his and pulled her off her seat.  
  
"Hey!" she said, pulling her hand back.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing to me!"  
  
"You? I have done nothing to you."  
  
"You are still my girlfriend." he said through his teeth. By now people were starting to stare. Lily placed her hand in Sirius', "I don't know what you're talking about," she said.  
"Oh yea, so where were you two all night."  
"Different question, what did you do in the Astronomy Tower with Katy last night?"  
  
An 'ooh' went around the Great Hall, all were listening. And of course, the teachers were oblivious. The Astronomy Tower was like the sex symbol of Hogwarts.   
  
"Katy was comforting me last night, after you broke my heart," he said with fake sadness in his eyes, mocking her.  
  
"Then I was only doing the same," replied Sirius calmly.  
  
"YOU SLEPT WITH HIM!" he yelled. A gasp came from the students.  
  
"Now," started Sirius, bringing his hand up to his chin in a thinking stance, "I wonder how he came up with that?" he scratched his head.  
  
"You slept with Katy, James?"  
  
"YOU SLEPT WITH SIRIUS!"   
  
"I did not sleep with Sirius," she said calmly.  
  
He stared at her. She had made a complete fool of himself twice in span 24 hours.   
  
"Fine, you know what! Be with him. Yes, I was with Katy last night, and what about you hmm?"  
  
Lily's eyes glazed over as she remembered, "Well, I went for a swim and then Sirius found me and took me for a ride. And I fell asleep and when I woke up we were on a beach and the sun was rising and I was so romantic." her eyes grew to slits, "but we did not sleep together in that sense,"  
  
How could Lily do this to him? He honestly thought she didn't have it in her. James didn't know what to do. He didn't know why the concept of Lily and Sirius made him feel so heartbroken. He started to feel guilty about sleeping with Katy. He didn't understand his feelings. He was confused.   
  
He ran.  


__________________________________________

  
i have no idea where this story is going. Might it turn to be a Sirius/Lily? Or some how, Inconceivably turn to a Lily/James?   
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!


	5. His Girl

Romance in the Wrong

His girl

Everyone had witnessed James' confusion and how he ran away from the hall. In the afternoon, he was not seen at all.

It soon floated around that Sirius and Lily had been together the whole night, as nobody had seen them in their dorms till breakfast when they had strode in from the grounds. Whispers when around. 

The two of them sat down, isolated from the rest of the table. The were very aware of the whispers about them floating passed them, but pretended not to notice. They were an item, they were 'the' item,. The boys started to look at Lily Evans in a whole new light. James had been brushed aside in a moment and forgotten the next. Nobody cared about James Potter. All eyes followed them as the two of them walked out of the Great hall, hand in hand. And as soon as the great wooden door had closed behind them, the Great Hall erupted in chatter. They both walked up to Gryffindor tower to get ready for school. They parted on the stairs each of them going off and day dreaming about their nights. Lily hopped into the shower and got changed, nothing out of the ordinary happened to her. Sirius however… 

Sirius sauntered into his room but stopped short when he saw James sitting on his bed, looking shattered and lost. Sirius didn't want to think about James now and he had turned to leave, but James called to him, "Sirius?"

"Yeah?" he turned back to face him.

"Come here," Sirius wasn't sure whether or not to trust James, he half expected him to jump on him and half expected him to break down and cry. But James did neither.

"What do you see in Lily when you look at her?" he asked, his eyes not looking at Sirius but at the spot behind his shoulder, his eyes glazed.

"I see… her. She's beautiful, and wonderful. She stubborn, and has those little freckled around her eyes so when she smiles she lights up."

"I don't get it," said James, shifting in his seat.

"Get what?" Sirius sat down beside him.

"You know how when you see a girl you get all weak in the knees and stuff?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, I feel that with Lily, but she's just so… I don't know, different. She's not like me. She's studious, and well kempt and mannered, it's unnerving. How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"How do you hang around her and not get all… " he paused, thinking of the word.

"Gooey?"

"Yeah," James never once blushed or felt awkward around Sirius and he never would. Sirius was his best friend through thick and thin and anywhere in between. 

"I don't know, I just try to act natural around her,"

"I can't, she makes me all squirmy inside. I can't sit still,"

"Man, you got it bad,"

James looked lost, "Yeah, I know," he muttered helplessly. 

"So tell her,"

"But after what I did? It'll take her a little while to- I don't know. It'll just take a while." James paused, "How can you be so calm right now. I mean, you two are practically labeled in item right now, and here I am asking your advice on how to win her back."

"James, if you love her, you have to fight for her. It's just up to her to choose the winner."

"Yeah," James nodded his head, "yeah," his gaze seemed far away.

"I'm going to shower, I'm meeting her afterward so we can walk to class together."

"Alright," but he was still far away. Sirius went into the bathroom. James head was abuzz with thought. He had to win her over. 

He had to win back his girl.


	6. Love Letters

Romance in the Wrong

Love Letters

It was the topic of the year, Sirius and Lily. They were so romantic and caring with each other. They were truly deeply in love.

James spat on the ground. He'd had it with the whole Sirius and Lily crap. He wanted to just go up to Sirius and punch… maybe he would do that. Maybe, he should teach James a lesson for stealing _his_ girl away from him.

But as much as he didn't want to think about it, he thought about what Lily would think. That wouldn't be the best way to go about winning her over. He had to do something. 

***

Lily sat in class not listening to Professor Binns talk about Wars and such when there was a tapping on the window. Everyone looked up from their sleep to see a beautiful owl flapping in front of the window, trying desperately to get their attention and keep it's self in place at the same time. Lily looked over at Professor Binns and saw that he was rambling on, not noticing anything. Lily got up and opened the window. The owl flew in and perched on her shoulder and dropped a rose in her hands, and stuck out a foot for the letter that went along with it.

"For me?" she asked the owl quietly, all eyes were on here, even Sirius' who was looking at her in puzzlement.

The owl hooted softly and shook it's let again, demanding it relieved of it's load. Lily untied the note and the owl took off back out the window and disappeared around the corner of the castle. Lily closed the window and reluctantly turned around. All eyes followed her as she went and sat down in her seat with her letter and gift. Her fingers itched to open the letter, but she didn't dare open it here. She stuffed the letter back into her bag but kept the rose out. She twirled it in her fingers examining it. She smelled it and it smelled oh so romantic. She wondered who sent it to her, certainly not Sirius, who was throwing her glances from across the room, trying to get her attention. But she only looked back with the same face and then turned away. All the rest of the period she stared at the rose. It was so lovely, and such a romantic gesture. Her fingers itched to open the letter and find out who sent it, but she didn't. But by the end of the class she was about to explode with curiosity. She sat there with all her things packed, rose and letter in hand, waiting to spring up and out the door, away from prying eyes and awkward questions. And finally it did and she was out the door and running down the steps.

She ran to the Tree and sat down leaning against the trunk. She looked at the letter once more, wanting to open it desperately, and not at the same time, reveling n the mystery and the romance in it. She looked at the front of the letter and on it with blood red ink was her name scrawled in beautiful curving, looping letters. She carefully opened the letter, very slowly.

__

My dearest Lily-

You're lovely, with your smile so warm 

And your cheeks so soft, There is nothing for me but to love you, 

And the way you look tonight. 

Please help me mend my broken heart, And let me live again

There was no signature, but Lily didn't need to guess who it was from. Something in her heart told her it was James. 

But James?

She didn't think he was capable of such a romantic gesture. He wasn't, how could he, especially after… she tried not to think about it. She suddenly was over come by the urge to rip it up and throw it into the lake. But she didn't. She stuck it back in her pocket and walked back up to the castle, deep in thought. 

***

Sirius was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, wondering where Lily was. He guessed it had been from James who was sitting a ways from him, chatting away with Remus and Tonks like nothing had happened. Sirius was suddenly worried, he loved Lily, he thought he did. But he suddenly felt like he just wanted to give up and let James have her. She had been with him first and then Sirius had comforted her and made the first move toward their relationship. But how could he. He didn't want to. He was in love with Lily too.

***

Lily avoided everyone the rest of the night, she ate down in the kitchens and went to bed early, pulling the curtains around her bed. She heard the other girls whispering about her. She tried to block it out and pulled the pillow over her head to muffle out the noises. It did and she breathed a sigh of relief. She just needed to think. Lily had been in love with James first, but then he started acting different and started hanging out with Katy. But then there was also Sirius, he had been loyal from the beginning. She was torn between the one who knew her best, James, and the one who wanted to know her best, Sirius. She weighed the odds of James against Sirius and in her mind Sirius had won. But then James had suddenly showed a new side of himself. He had been romantic. But Lily had also weighed how many times he had shown interest and then pushed her away again. Would he do that again? She hoped not. She was unsure of what to do, and then decided to wait it out. 

***

Sirius had been pacing their dormitory. He wanted to ask James if it had been him who sent it. If it was him… what? What would he do? He had told James that he could fight for her, it was only up to Lily to decide who she wanted more. He wanted to hit James and he wanted to celebrate for him. Had he finally seen how much he loved Lily? That was a good thing for him, but a bad thing for Sirius. 

The door opened and in walked James. 

Not now, now here. Sirius didn't want to talk to him now.

"Hey Padfoot," he said, and flopped down on his bed. He started taking off his socks and shoes.

"Hey," he replied gloomily, and James seemed indifferent to his attitude. For a second, Sirius debated on whether or not to ask him, but curiosity won him over.

"James, did you send Lily that letter with the rose?"

James leaned back on his bed, "Why do you ask?"

"Because she's…" neither of them had really agreed to be together, it just sort of happened, but neither of them had actually said it aloud. Dare he say it first?

"Because she's…" Sirius repeated. The pull of wanting to know if it was James verses daring to say he and Lily were together first was tearing him apart. 

"Because she's curious," he finally answered.

"Oh," replied James, "then why doesn't she ask me herself?" he inquired, a quizzical look on his face. If he was playing dumb, he was sure doing a good job. 

"She's just nervous that's all," Sirius replied, giving up. Sirius sat down on his bed, feeling defeated. He closed the hangings on his bed and mumbled a "g'night," to James, but he didn't go to sleep. Instead he lay there on his bed, staying up most of the night to ponder on his inner battle. He was disgusted with himself. 

***

__

My lovely Lily-

__

People You can never change the way the feel 

Better let them do just what they will 

For they will If you let them 

Steal your heart from you 

People Will always make a lover feel a fool 

But you knew I loved you 

We could have shown them all 

We should have seen love through 

Lily held the note tenderly in her trembling fingers. 

__

James? James? Is this really you? Dare I hope it to be you?

***

__

My Lily Flower

People say that love's a game 

A game you just can't win 

If there's a way I'll find it some day 

And then this fool will rush in 

***

October's end was quickly closing in, and Halloween was in the air. Lily had received numerous notes in classes, all to lyrics of songs, all with a new name on top and nothing written on the bottom. By now, Lily was unsure of it was James, he seemed not to care about the notes Lily received in class. But then who was it? Was it another secret admirer? She probably guessed she had many fans now, the knew she was popular and that many guys had looked at her, longingly. But did she have a fan crazy enough to make insanely romantic love notes, telling her that he wished that she was his? She didn't know. 

The Halloween dance was closing in and she had already said yes to going with Sirius. Yet, Lily secretly wished that she was going with her secret admirer. Would she see him tonight? Would he ask her to dance? Or would he just hang back and stay out of her way and watch from afar? Lily entered the Transfiguration classroom deep in thought, her friends chattering away beside her. She sat down and commenced to take notes and follow the lesson, but in the back of her mind, she lingered on the notes and dreaming and hoping on future notes.

Then, there was that familiar tap on the window. Lily looked up to see the same owl that had delivered the first note hovering beyond the window. She opened it, and now even the teacher was staring at her as she received the letter and closed the window. Lily was surprised to find not a rose, as usually included with the notes, but a Lily. She cradled it gently in her hands, smiling. She sat down in her seat and stared at the flower, wishing this period would end sooner so she could run to her Tree and read the letter. She carefully tucked the flower behind her ear, adjusting it and taking in it's scent. The letter pulled at her, especially today because there was a different flower. And finally she gave in, turning in her seat so that the letter could only be read by her. Everyone surveyed her with interest as they watched her eyes running back and forth, reading. 

__

Lily my Love

Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance 

With the stars up above in your eyes 

A fantabulous night to make romance '

Neath the cover of October skies 

And all the leaves on the trees are falling 

To the sound of the breezes that blow 

And I'm trying to please to the calling 

Of your heart-strings that play soft and low 

And all the night's magic seems to whisper and hush 

And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush 

Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love 

Can I just make some more romance with you, my love 

Lily read it, her heart sighing at the letter. But she was surprised to find a personal note at the bottom of it.

__

Lily Love, will you please meet me after the Halloween dance at 12:30 at the far side of the lake. Please make sure nobody flows as I would be embarrassed if anyone knew this was me. Goodbye for now Lily Love, until we meet.

Lily's heart was racing, a beat so fast that she didn't think, if she tried, she could make out the rests between thumps. 

Would she meet him? What if he really was crazy? What if it was someone she didn't like? Lily thought hard, eyes downcast and brows furrowed as she tried to run over a list of possible people. At the very top was James and right under that was Sirius, but would Sirius play dumb just to make the notes more mysterious and romantic? She honestly didn't think so.

Lily decided that she would meet her secret admirer.

__


	7. Halloween

Romance in the Wrong

Lily could hardly contain herself any more. She was sure James had sent them. It was only 2 more days till Halloween and the dance. She had tried on numerous amounts of dresses, each with the thought of impressing James. In the end she selected a stunning red dress that was, as her friends quoted, enough to knock any guys socks off. She blushed at the thought. 

***

Sirius was sitting across from her at Dinner in the Great Hall. She seemed to be deep in though all the time now, always with a silly smile on her face and blushing bright red. What Sirius would give to have a look inside her head, find out what she was thinking and what the note's she received said. The notes had stopped coming now, and Sirius thought that James had given up. He probed him with questions, but always, James avoided the answer. He stared intently at Lily, hoping she would notice him, talk to him, look at him, anything. 

But she didn't through the whole meal.

***

James was getting nervous. He didn't know what to do. He sat there in a panic down the table, away from Lily and Sirius. All day he had stared at her, thinking. Should he ask her? He looked back down at his food and stirred up the mess on his plate. He felt nervous about seeing Lily Halloween night, the thought made him jumpy. He suddenly looked up, feeling eyes on him. Remus stared at him from across the table. 

James made an annoyed face, as if to say 'what are you looking at.'

Remus only shrugged and nodded down the table, toward Lily and Sirius. 

James saw her staring up at the ceiling, her cheeks a rosy red as Sirius stared at her intently. James looked away. He felt sick. He had to win Lily back. 

He had to win Lily back…

***

Halloween night finally came, and Lily sat in front of her mirror thinking, hands on her chin, staring off into space.

"Lily? Lily? Hello?" Lily blinked, her eyes became focused, "Earth to Lily?"

"What," she said airily, her thoughts still on her James. 

"Come on! Are you ready?"

Lily looked down her herself, make up half on, one shoe off, her hair a mess. 

"Do I look like him ready?" she sighed, and started fixing herself.

Her friend, Lauren retreated back to her other friend, June and started whispering. Lily couldn't hear what they were saying, but she knew it was about her.

***

"She's been like that ever since those love notes started coming," whispered Lauren.

"But they stopped coming, at least, during the middle of class. Do you think they stopped coming?"

"Of course not. Who ever sent them has got it bad,"

"And so does she, I mean, look at her." June looked over at her. Lily had wondered again, and now she had a fourth of her make up done and all her shoes on.

"Lily!" 

"What!" she snapped out of it, turning toward her friends.

"Er- how's the make up coming along…" she half smiled half grimaced, but Lily busy thinking to notice the difference.

"Good, good," she said, wondering again.

"You know, the sooner we get there-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry guys," she continued to do herself up. When she was finally done she looked at herself in the mirror. No smile came to her face as she revolved around, making sure everything was good.

"Okay, let's go," 

***

"Ohmigod, is that Lexa?" Lauren pointed over to a skinny blonde girl in a long blue dress, they were all crowded together, straining their necks to see the Ravenclaw girl.

"She looks beautiful!" June cooed.

"Yeah," Lily managed. Her mind was wondering again. Would she see James tonight? Would he ask her to dance with him? She stared off into space and Sirius came up behind her.

"Boo," he said, his breath tickling her ear.

"Hey, Sir'," she said, she turned around in his embrace to look at him.

"Would you care to dance?"

"I'd love to," He led her onto the dance floor, a nice, romantic, slow song playing. She held him close as they danced. She inhaled his heavy scent, and closed her eyes. She felt so safe in his arms. 

__

I'm meeting him tonight… she thought, she wished she hadn't, she gave an involuntary tremble of excitement. 

"Lily? Are you cold?" Sirius had mistaken it for her being cold.

"Yeah," she replied, playing along with the cover up he had unknowingly gave her, "Just a little,"

A ways away James watched her, his eyes hardly leaving her. Should he ask her for a dance? What would she say? Would she be mad? He stood up, mustering up his courage, but then suddenly sat back down again. He couldn't do it.

__

Maybe later tonight he thought to himself.

***

A bell tolled in the Great Hall, symbolizing the one minute it was midnight on Halloween. Ghosts floated into the crowd, people shivered as ghosts past through them, stealing their warmth. And then the bell tolled again and the dance was over. People started moving and streaming toward the doors, a murmur of excitement in it. Lily managed to lose herself in the crowd and sneaked out discreetly. 

It was a warm night, and moonbeams lay softly on the grass and threw everything into a wash of breathtaking fadedness. Lily gathered up her dress in her hands and walked on the grass barefoot, the grass tickling her feet. She loosened her hair, done up tightly in an intricate bun. She moved swiftly across the grass, not wanting to be seen out in the open by wandering eyes, glancing outside to get a glimpse of the white moon. She carefully stepped into the shade of the trees and silently made her way to the other edge of the lake. She looked for any signs of her rendezvous. And then she heard it playing, softly. Music, sweet, soft music. She wandered toward it, holding her breath. 

And then she saw him, illuminated by the silvery light reflecting off the calm blue water, twirling a soft white lily in his hands. 

"Lily…"

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Please review!


	8. To Love and To Impress

__

A bell tolled in the Great Hall, symbolizing the one minute it was midnight on Halloween. Ghosts floated into the crowd, people shivered as ghosts past through them, stealing their warmth. And then the bell tolled again and the dance was over. People started moving and streaming toward the doors, a murmur of excitement in it. Lily managed to lose herself in the crowd and sneaked out discreetly.   
  
It was a warm night, and moonbeams lay softly on the grass and threw everything into a wash of breathtaking fadedness. Lily gathered up her dress in her hands and walked on the grass barefoot, the grass tickling her feet. She loosened her hair, done up tightly in an intricate bun. She moved swiftly across the grass, not wanting to be seen out in the open by wandering eyes, glancing outside to get a glimpse of the white moon. She carefully stepped into the shade of the trees and silently made her way to the other edge of the lake. She looked for any signs of her rendezvous. And then she heard it playing, softly. Music, sweet, soft music. She wandered toward it, holding her breath.   
  
And then she saw him, illuminated by the silvery light reflecting off the calm blue water, twirling a soft white lily in his hands.   
  
  
"Lily…"

***

They stared at each other for a couple of minutes. Lily, undoubtedly speechless. 

So it was _him_.

She couldn't believe it, she never would have thought _he_ could be romantic.

"_Severus!?"_ her voice was like nails on a chalk board.

__

))My Lily Flower  
  
People say that love's a game   
A game you just can't win   
If there's a way I'll find it some day   
And then this fool will rush in ((

She wanted to scream, she wanted to puke, she wanted to look into his eyes and see if he truly meant it.

"Lily," his voice cracked, "I know you didn't expect it from me, of all people," his voice was saddened. He looked at her intensely.

"Please, just say something,"

"I-" she stuttered, "I-" tears started welling up in her eyes.

James didn't love her. Sirius was drifting away with her. And then this fool, this _worm_, this _slug,_ this **_thing_** had the nerve to mock her. The right words to describe him failed her.

"How dare you," her eyes flashing, yet tears still seeping down her cheeks. She brushed them aside, hating herself for showing such emotion in front of this, this…

"_You son of a bitch!_" She drew her wand, "How, DARE- how DARE you toy with me like that…"

She did a quick slashing motion with her wand and a burst of purple erupted from her wand.

Severus Snape fell to the ground, still clutching the lily. He had fallen in such a way that the lily was squished and torn. She shuddered as she looked at it.

"James!" she wailed, and she fell to the ground, clutching her heart in pain and sorrow, "James! I thought you loved me!" She sobbed and shook. She looked up from her tears and carefully took the lily from Snape's hand and cradled it.

__

I am this Lily, she thought, _I am in pain, and crushed and torn. I am lily…_

"And Sirius!" she suddenly shouted, but her voice suddenly quieted to a whisper, "I though you loved me too." She didn't know why, but she couldn't get the words out. He had never said he loved her. They just were. They had just happened. It was that one romantic morning they had woken up together on that beach so long ago. With James, it had been all her life. 

She knew deep down that her heart belonged to James, and no matter what he did, she always would. She always returned to him hadn't she? After all those times with Katy, and he pushed her away, Lily would come running back to him, and forgive him. And then he had only done it again. 

Her heart lay torn just like the lily.

***

She had fallen on the grass, her red hair spilling on her. She lay there for what seemed like eternity, but had only been a couple of hours. Snape hadn't awoken. It was almost morning, a dark red was starting to seep over the horizon. 

She heard it. Her name being called in the distance. Or was it the wind? Even the wind was mocking her. 

It was soft and ghostlike, it sent chills up her spine.

And then he was there, kneeling beside her, worried eyes asking here unsaid questions.

"Lily!" he gasped out. He didn't dare touch her. She seemed so fragile and so lost. She had all the look of heart wrenching despair. "Lily," he sobbed. Dew clung to her, her skin, her hair, her eyelashes. She looked like the goddess of the morning, except for the broken expression on her face.

She looked at the broken flower in her hand, slowly twirling it. She seemed not to care, not to think.

"Do you love me?" she asked in a weary voice.

"Yes! Yes, I love you Lily! I love you," he gasped out.

"Then why torture me so?" she asked, eyes full of sorrow. She looked so small and defenseless. She looked weak and broken; like she was barely hanging on to life.

"I wanted you to love me. I wanted to impress you. And then you went off with Sirius, and I was heartbroken. Why Lily? Why did you put me through so much pain?" he asked her, he felt the same way she looked.

"Because I wanted you to love me. Because I wanted to impress you." she gave a weak smile.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

I bet you all hate me now. Not only have I not updated in MONTHS, BUT made Snape do it. 

I CAN'T BELIEVE I made snape do it. But I hate it when the whole story is predictable…

But there it is…

As much as you probably all absolutely LOATH me, review! (pretty please!)

patronus, aka, chocolate ink and sugar quills


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